When Sh*t Happens to Good People

No, I'm not joining the crowd lamenting the passing of Whitney Houston.  Certainly she had,  at one time, a beautiful voice, a beautiful face and beautiful DNA.  But, she pretty much made horrific choices on her own including creating the circumstances that led to her unfortunate demise.

I'm writing about a person who made good to great choices, who tried and is trying to lead an exemplary life - one that would humble even the most pious of saints living among us and that far out shines most in the clergy.  I'm talking about a man named Tony.

Tony, by all measures, is still a young man.  Good looking.  Smart as hell.  Married to a fine woman I've known and admired since my fumbling teen years.  Successful in his profession.  A full head of hair.  A good man.

Tony was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few days ago.

Now for most of us, just the term "cancer" is an instant plunge into depression and terror.  Add "pancreatic" to it and we believe, with good reason, that the end is all too near.  That's not necessarily the case - if the cancer has not spread and can be excised from the pancreas.  Don't know Tony's specifics.  Can only hope for the best.

That said, let me tell you about what I've observed from my all too brief relationship with Tony.

We both served on the School Advisory Board for St. Jerome's Catholic School in Hyattsville when that institution of fine and family learning was run by the late Sister Joyce Volpini, SND and (not that it mattered a bit, Ph.D), a woman I truly admire, love and hold still in the highest regard.

Tony and I locked horns on many an issue while sitting across from each other at the conference table.  Neither of us gave an inch to the other.  Both of us felt we were right and since we are both of Italian heritage fought intellectually as if we were locked in a village or family blood feud. 

The main issue over which we clashed was how best to create a capital campaign for the school and parish.  We both wanted one.  We just disagreed on how to achieve it.  That battle was rendered moot after the idiots at the Archdiocese took off the table the option of individual parishes conducting such fund-raising efforts from among parishioners.  Archdioceses within the Catholic Church and in Washington DC in specific are too often run by political types posing as spiritual leaders who, in fact, are more akin to smarmy (look up the definition online at "Urban Dictionary" where they really nailed it) politicians doling out patronage to campaign supporters.  Now, again too often, this type activity is conducted by sanctimonious auxiliary Bishops with their own private agendas.  Am I being too harsh in voicing my opinion there??  Tough ...t!  If the shoe fits, wear it.

Don't know what Tony thought or thinks about me.  I do know that I held no hard feelings and only grew in admiration for the lad.

During Hurricane Katrina, Tony took it upon himself to load up a truck of moving van size with food and drive it to New Orleans.  He did it himself with no fan fare, no public or even private spotlight focused upon himself.

Tony set up the local chapter of the Catholic Business Network to bring together men and women of faith to investigate how they can use their professional expertise to help the community.

When wounded veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan began returning and the Wounded Warrior Project got started, Tony set up deer hunts for wheelchair bound vets.  Of late, he created a sporting clays tournament for Wounded Warriors.  Again, he did all of this operating with not the first hint of attention focused on his efforts.

I guess you could say that Tony is a prime example of the saying "No good deed goes unpunished" from the point of view of his being diagnosed with cancer.  On the other hand, as my blog title suggests, he is also an example of my effort to insure that "No good deed goes unpublished"!

Tony is one of the best friends of a man I also admire and consider one of my best friends, Chris Carroll.  Chris is one of 14 children and I've the honor of knowing his siblings (each as nice and fine as the next) and their incredibly wonderful mother who I believe is 91 and still an active stalwart of the parish and community.  And, yes, they are direct descendants of the Carroll who signed the Declaration of Independence and the fellow of the same name who was, I believe, the first Archbishop in Maryland back in the day when even Irish folks over here were considered British citizens.

If there is anything about Tony that I don't know, and that I'm sure is a lot about the boy, then let me say this, the depth of quality of the man can be measured in value by the relationship he enjoys with his touchstone: Chris.  (Look up touchstone while you are at it and you'll understand all the various aspects of my allusion.)

I'm not saying goodbye to Tony.  I'm hoping he musters all his courage and faces this as he seems to have faced most of the challenges life's thrown at us all.  A positive attitude when dealing with the big C is imperative.  There are at least 15 research protocols in treating pancreatic cancer now being conducted at NIH with amazing progress towards thwarting cancers of all types at research institutions throughout the country and the world.  So I have hope that Tony will beat this threat and we can enjoy him with us for many, many years to come.